On How Men Might Include Themselves in Feminist Discussion
This is a reponse to a comment I received on a blog I posted for my feminist theory class. http://ablogofourown.wordpress.com/2009/05/06/the-lone-male-speaks-up-in-the-feminist-theory-classroom/
Pat Milhoff writes, “… I think the question is how do we reach out to today’s young men? For example, how could a Women’s Studies Program attract more men? How can second wave feminists learn to communicate with today’s young males without sounding strident or shrill. Equality is the goal and I think many men and women are surprised to find the wage gap still exists, court decisions like Ledbetter and Hulteen are still made, and equality is still a goal.
That’s my two cents and you can keep the change until we see real change…”
How can second wave feminists learn to communicate with today’s young males without sounding strident or shrill? This is pretty rude, and I’m sorry for that, but it’s my honest reaction.
I know some second wave feminists who have yet to let go of their anger. Anger causes otherwise intelligent people to sound strident. Phrases like “you can keep the change until we see real change” are pretty strident, wouldn’t you say? I’m just picking at that comment because I feel that it is one example of a larger issue that we need to address.
I think such comments come from a place of anger or resentment. I understand that resentment, myself. Gay people get bitch-slapped by society all the time. Trust me, I get it, I get angry too. But anger isn’t helpful in diplomacy.
Christine Cox puts it very well in her comment on my post. “men… are forced to comply with the system just as we [women] are.” I know it’s easy to be angry, but we CAN’T make men feel like villians, or we (men) will simply view us (feminists) as enemies. I gather from my own experience that a lot of young women actually feel the same way as what (I’m guessing) a majority of young men feel: feminists are man-hating bitches.
Next, I have to disagree with the implication that “real change” has not occured. I have to disagree with it STRONGLY. Let’s look at this by analogizing women to homosexuals. Like I said, the queer community gets bitch-slapped by society on a regular basis. Still, I’d rather be living in 2009 than before Stonewall. There has been incredible progress for gay rights since Stonewall, and yes, there is still a LOT of room for improvement, but the need for further change doesn’t negate the change that has already occured.
Coming back to women’s issues, take a look at June Cleaver and Lucy Ricardo, then take a look at Roseanne and Buffy the Vampire Slayer. These media representations show very clearly the change that has occured since the mid-twentieth century. I believe that anyone who takes a few moments to reflect can identify a number of ways in which change has occured.
So, what can a Women’s Studies program do to attract men? I can think of a few ideas. First, in Psychology of Women, I’m learning a bit about marketing strategies. While marketing frequently relies on stereotyping, such stereotypes are nonetheless effective. If you want to reach out to men as a group, how about creating some flyers that look masculine and are obviously aimed at young men? Or, young men stereotypically view feminists as bitches. How about a marketing campaign that makes a joke out of it? “Feminist Thought: It’s Not Just for Bitches Anymore” You could even use that strategy to invite men to read up on Jo Freeman. Or, how about a campaign that says, “Women prefer to date enlightened men. Come to our meeting.” Stereotypes are based on truth, and they are useful in marketing. Reach out.
Those are my thoughts for now. I might have more later. Check back.
Wow, Jason, did I really sound as though I feel angry towards men with a capital “M”? I don’t think of myself that way, but I don’t dispute your perception either. Reminds me of the Robert Burns quote: “Oh wad some power the giftie gie us To see oursel’s as others see us!” I’m going to have to think about this — and try to be more aware of my own biases, where they come from and why, and how I express them.
Paula, I edited my post to reflect my feelings more accurately. No, I don’t think you are a man-hater! I think you are the bomb!
I just read this and wanted to reply. The “keep the change until there is real change” is a slogan that has to do with the pay equity gap. It comes from the American Association of University Women’s pay equity program. I enjoyed reading this and it did make me think about some of my own ideas. As a second waver I did spend much of my young adulthood being angry. I was in law school and always clawing to get somewhere. It is different today; but it is important to remember that a lot of things are different because of second wavers. By the way, I loved the Roseanne post.
Thanks for commenting, Pat!
The first thing I want to say in response is that I agree enthusiastically with your comment, “it is important to remember that a lot of things are different because of second wavers.” Yes! Yes, I agree so much! I can’t even imagine how different my life experiences would have been and how different my outlook on life would be had it not been for the second wave! It is a damn shame that so many people are so quick to criticize second-wave feminists when the fact is that we all own you a huge debt! Society is DRAMATICALLY different than it used to be, and it is directly the result of second-wavers!
That being said, I would be remiss not to mention that I think there is definitely a need to “clean up the mess” left behind by the second wave. While second-wavers did SO MUCH GOOD, their anger also stigmatized the feminist movement. I believe there are scads of young women and men today who, having been raised in the “Roseanne culture”, hold feminist values and attitudes. But, because of the negative stigma associated with the f-word, they remain complacent to our cause.
I think if we want to continue the movement, we feminists need to clean house, adapt to the new era, and proceed with a new sense of diplomacy.
One last thing: I like the “two cents” comment in the context of equal pay.
Creative! 